The decision
is now final. You've accepted the promotion and narrowed down the list of
potential new homes, and you'll be moving soon. Now comes the hardest part --
planning the move and telling the kids. Whether moving out of state or just
around the block, children and adolescents typically aren't thrilled by such an
event. In fact, they rarely relish change of this magnitude. Fortunately, there
are some steps you can take to ease the transition. Your attitude about moving
and your willingness to let your children share in the experience will
influence their feelings. Try following these 10 tips to make the move as
anxiety-free as possible.
Planning a move can be difficult -- but
planning a move with children can be even harder.
Image Credit: ©iStockphoto.com/Brad Killer
10. Have a Family Meeting
Call a
family meeting. Order some pizza and gather around the dining room table for a casual
dinner and lots of conversation. If you're moving because of a promotion or a
new job, tell your children that you're excited about it. Explain why you took
it and how it will impact the entire family. Tell them how you feel about the
move. Encourage them to express their feelings and concerns. If this is their
first time moving, it could be particularly difficult because they're leaving
their family home. Share with them your first-move experience. Let them know
you'll be depending on them to help out during the move, from packing to
settling in to the new place.
9. Get the Kids' Feedback on the New Home
If possible,
involve your children, especially if they're older, in the selection process of
the new home. Once you've narrowed the choices down to two or three houses, get
some feedback from the kids. If where you're moving to is within a reasonable
driving distance, take them to see the homes. If you're moving to another city,
show them photos of each home, describe the neighborhoods in detail and, if
you can, take a virtual tour online. Ask them to share their three favorite
things about each house. Let them know you'll take their comments into
consideration when making the final decision. After you've picked the house,
keep them posted through the process. Have a little celebration once you know
you've got the house.
8. Purge Before Packing
Let the kids
know that now is a great time to cut through the clutter. Throughout the house,
there's bound to be a plethora of things that do not need to accompany you to
the new home. Get the kids to help you go through the house, room by room, to
identify what should go with you and what you could get rid of. Let them know
that you don't want to toss everything. It's OK to keep certain things that
hold important memories. However, items -- be they clothes, toys or electronics
-- that are no longer used, should be closely considered for the toss pile. And
you don't have to toss them … you can sell them.
7. Organize a Moving Sale
Once you've
figured out what you want to pack and what you want to purge, get the kids to
help you organize a moving sale. They can help you sort through
everything, organize it, inventory it, and price and tag it. Let them know that
the proceeds from the sale will be used for something for the family. In fact,
you can have a family meeting and vote to decide on what that might be. Maybe
it's a giant flat screen TV for the new house, or maybe it's a chocolate lab puppy. Whatever it is, the more invested the kids are in the goal,
the more helpful they'll be with organizing the sale.
6. Research the New Place
Try to learn
as much as possible about the new neighborhood, community and town. Share what
you find with your kids. You don't have to make everything sound wonderful;
honest, matter-of-fact information will be most helpful in the long run. If you
oversell things and raise expectations, there's room for disappointment.
Encourage your kids to do their own research. With your help, they can go
online and look up community and school Web sites. You could also find copies
of some local magazines and a weekend edition of the local paper. You'll be able to learn about community organizations and
groups, school events and sports, and other social and civic activities.
5. Make Room Plans
To get your
children excited about the new house, make room plans. You don't have to limit
yourself to their rooms only. If they're interested in helping arrange and
decorate other rooms in the house, let them. Take a trip to the hardware store
to look at paint swatches. If you're going to purchase new furniture and the
kids are interested, take them with you. For teenagers, set a budget and let
them tackle their own rooms -- picking out colors, linens, rugs and furniture.
Encourage them to shop at consignment and thrift stores. For younger kids, you
can set a budget and work with them on executing their vision. Then, when it's
all done, you can invite some family or friends over for a "big
reveal" like they do on TV shows.
4. Do a Site Visit
If you're
able, take the kids to the new place for a visit. If you're just moving across
town, plan to spend the day doing a walk-through of the house and a tour of the
new neighborhood. Then you can visit the local branch of the public library and
each kid's school. If you're moving a great distance away, you might still be
able to do this, even if it just means beating the moving van by a couple of
days and staying in a local hotel. In addition to touring the children's
schools and the local library, make arrangements to see any additional
facilities you might end up frequenting like the area YMCA, community theater
or music school. You can also drive your children by where you'll be working.
3. Host a 'See You Soon' Party
One of the
most difficult things about moving for any child is saying goodbye to friends.
You could lessen the anxiety of this by hosting a get-together with family,
friends and neighbors and call it a "See You Soon" party. During the
party, make sure everyone exchanges contact information, and take photos of
your kids with their friends. Between texting, e-mails and phone calls, your kids should be able to maintain old friendships while
transitioning to their new surroundings and making new friends. Depending on
the distance of your move, you could speak with the parents of your children's
friends about planning a weekend visit or meeting somewhere halfway for a day
visit.
2. Map the Move
If you're
moving a few towns away or to another state, pull out the GPS, maps and atlas. This can be especially helpful if you're
leaving behind friends and family members you know you'll be returning to
visit. Map out the moving route and mark some interesting places to visit and
sights to see along the way. This will make the trip go by more quickly, and it
will be more engaging for you and the kids. Keep the maps handy for when you
arrive at your destination, too. Get the kids to help you plot out routine
routes such as from the house to school or from the house to the local park,
mall or movie theater.
1. Be a Tourist in the New Place
You've been
in the new house for almost a week. Slowly, but steadily, the boxes are being
unpacked, and you and the kids are starting to settle in to your new digs. Now
it's time to settle in to your new community. If there is one, buy a guidebook
for your new city. Grab it and a calendar and sit down with the kids to plan
some fun outings around the area. Whether you decide on apple or strawberry
picking at a local farm, hitting the natural science museum, or hiking, rafting
or kayaking at the nearby state park, it's important to engage your kids and
show them all that your new hometown has to offer. If they've met some new
friends in your neighborhood or at school, encourage each child to bring a
friend along on your outings.
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